The desire map — Summary

Learn to embrace your desires to accomplish your highest goals and achieve fulfillment

Desires not only are crucial for the survival of the human race, but positive desires also make our life more fun and fulfilling.

Desires are the fuel of our lives

What is it that gets us up in the morning? Did you notice that when something exciting awaited you the next day, you got out of bed much more easily and energized? That’s the power of desire. Our lives wouldn’t be the same without desires. Desire keeps our flame burning.

You were likely motivated to perform whatever creative actions necessary to get the attention of your high school crush. Creativity and courage are only some of the aspects triggered by desire, apart from the basic desire for food, love, sex and achievement.

Desires can tell a lot about a person

A list of a person’s highest desires would tell a lot about that person. Our desires reflect our realities and reveal our greatest dreams for the future. Many high achievers have had a burning desire for something from a young age. Arnold Schwarzenegger for example, was decided to become Mr. Olypmia since he was a little boy growing up in Austria. In fact, he accomplished all his major desires, becoming Mr. Olympia, becoming one of the best-paid action movie stars, and a politician.

But what did he do differently than most people who face similar desires? He didn’t let fear get in his way. We have to tackle and overcome our fears and remain faithful that the achievement of our desires is possible.

Feelings air difficult decisions

We are often told that we shouldn’t make decisions based on feelings but reason and facts. Facts, after all, are objectively true not subjective to a particular person like feelings.

But our feelings are crucial in our lives, they are the most powerful driving force, so it is better not to ignore and suppress them but instead, aligning with them.

Imagine you were stuck in a boring job. You feel dread about your work, and you just move through the daily routine because you are well paid and because, well, you get a good pay. In this case, rational thinking based on facts (a good salary) would probably be worse than a decision based on your feelings.

If you’d follow your feelings you would search something more fulfilling, probably getting an even higher income in the long term.

Embrace the unexpected and ignore criticism

Many of our desires are actually not ours, but we adopted them from society. The typical things society tells us that we want are getting a degree, getting a good stable job, getting married, and doing all that at a certain age. Sounds boring and unfulfilling? Then those are probably not your true desires.

How can we find our real desires? By discerning if you want something simply to prove yourself to your family or peers, or if it is really something which you want. You have to become more aware. Knowing your true desires will help you pursue things that really matter to you.

Once you decided to follow your real desires, keep open eyes and an open mind to chance encounters. Even if at first a random event might not be what you want, they can either lead to further events, or they can help you discover what you want more specifically. The latter is especially important if you don’t really know what it is you want. In that case, you should try out as many different things as you can. Our desires manifest in different ways and often not the way we expect them to.

Value every moment when objects of desire fall into your life, even if they aren’t exactly what you are looking for, they will provide you with more experiences and perhaps lead you closer to your true goals.

Set goals in accordance to your desires

Another way by which you will know if a desire was yours is if you achieved your goal but still feel empty. Drop those types of goals. Goals can make us feel nervous and daunted, but they should always make us feel excited and happy too.

When goals are inspiring, you will have a better time chasing them. And once you achieve them, you will feel exhilarated. That doesn’t mean you won’t be hungry for more. Wanting more is natural, it is our basic drive. It is likely that the achievement of your goal will spark your creativity and courage, you will feel capable of pursuing much bigger goals.

You should also help other people pursue their goals on your way, that will make you even more fulfilled. As the saying goes:

When you get to the top, it’s your job to send the elevator back down.

Don’t feel discouraged if you don’t feel capable of achieving your goals at this moment

Often when you set goals, especially if they are ambitious or fantastic, a voice in your head will tell you that those aspirations are ridiculous. You must ignore that voice and focus on reasons why you can achieve your goals.

Make peace with your goals. If they make you feel you good and you know it is what you want, don’t criticize yourself for having them. You should also never make fun of the goals of other people.

Sometimes your goals will be at odds with each other, in those cases, you will have to make a decision. That doesn’t mean that you lose one goal, you might discover new goals in the process which are even more fulfilling for you.

Compromises can be blessings in disguise.

Limitation can help you grow

You will always encounter problems on your way to your goals. Don’t see them as setbacks but as challenges from which you can learn from. Every issue can be a blessing if you become a better and stronger person in the process. Even more serious limitations don’t mean you have to give up on your dreams. Simply admit your limitations and learn to work with them instead of feeling regret.

Desire is the engine used which keeps us constantly growing and become everything we can become. Instead of trying to ignore your desires due to fear of disappointment, embrace them and use them as an inspiration.

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Also published on Medium.