Mel Robbins’ perspective on confidence rings so true with me. In her interview on Impact Theory, she explains that confidence isn’t a personality trait as many people think. I used to think that confident people were outgoing, extroverted, in other words, it is their personality. But Mel’s explanation makes much more sense.
But then why some extroverted people are also very insecure? If you are outgoing but don’t believe in yourself, you aren’t confident. Believing in yourself and your ideas is confidence. There are lots of introverted people who are uncomfortable putting the attention on themselves but they are very very confident in their ideas.
Turns out that confidence isn’t a personality trait, it’s a skill, and here’s why. Mel defines confidence as the ability to move from thought to action.
It’s not the assuredness that we will succeed, it’s the willingness to try.
She basically became famous after she started using a method herself, to outsmart her own brain. Something called metacognition. In short, our brains try to protect ourselves, so whenever we want to do something new, our brains come up with tons of reasons why not to do it. But that effect only kicks in after some seconds. The trick Mel found was to count from 5 to 1 and just act before the brain starts coming up with reasons why not to do it.